My first track... Check PLZ

[Outla Spirit]

its only 1:29 long... its over the Pac beat... and i know i fuck up at the end on the chorus type of part... but hey, the volumes are wrong 2...

but nothing a bit of re-recordin wont cure and volume control cant fix...

anyway, here it is -

http://www.outlawspirit.com/available/track01.mp3

or here -

http://www.savefile.com/files.php?fid=1931730

and here are the lyrics -

[Intro]

Yea... now you see, you may think i lived a smooth fuckin life
with no fuckin troubles what-so-ever
but beleive me you couldnt be further from the truth
and that really fuckin pisses me off
sure, i got possessions right now
real good possessions that may even cover the scars of my previous years

its all good, i have no fear, i live a life of no fear... i fear no one, not even death himself... not even death himself...

not even death himself


[Verse 1]

now what i say was i was an unexpected birth, straight from the cradle 2 the hurse,
even though the doctors bought me back, sometimes im wishin they had left me on my back,
i dont give a fuck, what was left? and then i realised, when i looked into there eyes,
there was love and no despise, single tears shed led to full crys,
so many sleepless nights after that night, i must'a been about 7,
some twisted coward put a gun to my grandaddys eyes,
death threats plotted, he was then spotted,
outside there house, takin photo's like the camera was his hostage,
from samarui's to shot-guns it was no doubt this man's sanity had copped it,
jus a devious plot,
could i give a fuck, im jus glad i never heard that gun-shot,

[Chorus]

i remember times when we found it hard to have food on the table,
now my old man providin with a business that is stable,
and yes, i have possessions that may hide these scars,
but please dont make mistakes for a 'life that wasn't hard'


C/C APPRECIATED

 

[Outla Spirit]

replied to sith angel & ygb's threads

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

you have a crazy accent as a rapper it doesnt sound very good but for something like acting your voice would get you a job

 

[Outla Spirit]

haha... thanks for the c/c i appreciate that man... ay, im'a continue to elevate upon the flow n lyrics n ish... try sumin with the voice... what you think was wrong with it ?

get back 2 me... i appreciate it... peace, further C/C welcome...

yea... somewhat... my other tracks i featured upon sound different to that one... i was kinda pissed on the topic of it.. and it added 2 the extra emotion n anger... ay... ill hit u up in this forum with a new chilled back track real soon... this week 4 sure...

peace

 

[Ryan2318]

please completely change your voice. sorry but for rap the british accent has to go and then ontop of that you have some weird i don't even know what it is sound to it.

just reading the lyrics they look pretty good but again the voice ruins it.

flow could be a little better.

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

the voice doesnt ruin the song it just doesnt fit the song. like i said take up acting that voice will get you a job

 

[Outla Spirit]

please completely change your voice. sorry but for rap the british accent has to go and then ontop of that you have some weird i don't even know what it is sound to it.

just reading the lyrics they look pretty good but again the voice ruins it.

flow could be a little better.

haha... man... trust, i am not putting on any english accent... for real, thats my voice and for an english person i dont think it sounds real english soundin... anyway, u from the states or sumin? das prolly why it would sound so english 2 u...

thanks 4 the love on the lyrics, i appreciate it... im'a hit u all up with a new track... n jus take into mind the comments..

P.S : i dont want to act i want to rap, and i will elevate and get my rappin on par... peace an 1 luv

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

haha... man... trust, i am not putting on any english accent... for real, thats my voice and for an english person i dont think it sounds real english soundin... anyway, u from the states or sumin? das prolly why it would sound so english 2 u...

thanks 4 the love on the lyrics, i appreciate it... im'a hit u all up with a new track... n jus take into mind the comments..

P.S : i dont want to act i want to rap, and i will elevate and get my rappin on par... peace an 1 luv

i wish you the best of luck, and you can accomplish anything you want if you set your mind on it and work hard. :thumb:

 

[Outla Spirit]

i wish you the best of luck, and you can accomplish anything you want if you set your mind on it and work hard. :thumb:

its all good... i got a studio in the works... n im practicin everyday... just tryina elevate upon it...

 

[Ryan2318]

haha... man... trust, i am not putting on any english accent... for real, thats my voice and for an english person i dont think it sounds real english soundin... anyway, u from the states or sumin? das prolly why it would sound so english 2 u...

thanks 4 the love on the lyrics, i appreciate it... im'a hit u all up with a new track... n jus take into mind the comments..

P.S : i dont want to act i want to rap, and i will elevate and get my rappin on par... peace an 1 luv

yeah i'm from florida. it stands out alot

 

[Outla Spirit]

that's cool man... i dont think it's anythin about my rappin.. i think what it is is bein comfortable with a mic and findin technique when recordin... once i mastered dat it's all good...

anyway, im'a record again tommorow... perhaps re-record this track on a new instrumental with a new verse...

any instrumental suggestions? ill spit on anythin das kickin

 

[EriMakaveli]

it was offbeat and i didnt like it...but keep tryin you will get better.

now rep me!

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

^^^ thats gay to request rep so blatantly

and yea outla thats the hardest part, finding your gut and holding that mic with comfort, you have to jus try and let your mind and heart and soul speak for you instead of your mouth what will come out will sound much better.

 

[Outla Spirit]

it was offbeat and i didnt like it...but keep tryin you will get better.

now rep me!

ok, your 14... from canada... got any good points goin 4 u?... anyway, i ain here 4 beef... thanks for the C/C but fuck the rep...

anyway Ghost, it's jus i need 2 comfortable like u said... i can kick it in a freestyle with my friends and the flow i got is crazy, i mean... it flows like a fuckin river... but when i get the mic... i think i try 2 express myself 2 much, n den i lose my control of the flow... ay, im'a keep it goin anyway...

any insturmental suggestion

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

get a program to make your own instrumentals and learn to sample learn the program, get one that doesnt suck, then your instrumentals will express your feeling more than looking for one that expresses your feeling the most. also ignore haters, your 3 times better than what every hater has made you out to be, haters hate so you will believe it and when you do that what they say is true. if you beleive you suck then you suck. shit your twice as good just for your work ethic. be sure to practice, be sure to write, and as you make beats think how you will flow to them.

if you are going to re record the song with a different instrumental, i suggest something with a little synth in it, some light percusion. and a heavy DUUMMM noise(for got the instrument, bells and certain gongs and drums make it though) to the drum layer.and to top it off have an eerie keyboard. change the flow a bit, start off with it being more depressed and then gradually move into the pissed part. if your gradually make your voice more grungier and grittier and rugged every couple lines it will sound better.

Also record better like fix the volume and shit it fucks up the way your flow sounds ane makes it sound worse than it is which isnt that bad without the fucked volume.

 

[GhostOfRazgriz]

and also i repped you because i thought your ethic and dilligence was worth one.

 

[Outla Spirit]

and also i repped you because i thought your ethic and dilligence was worth one.

thanks man appreciate that, an appreciate ur last post... in the next week or so i should be gettin some shit together... a decent program 2 make beats, then im'a make my own... till then, i got instrumentals... it's all practice... ill post up a beat or two in the not to far future...

 

[Bigg Limn]

Accent aint 2 bad...jus work on pronounciation more makin it clearer...u almost sound like Young Noble lol Flow is pretty solid and delivery is hungry, but U gotta work on breath control..toss in some backing vocals to coverup if necesarry. "Samurais to shotguns" that line alone makes the entire verse sicc lol. Yeah jus work on ur pronounciation and breathe control better and ur shit will sound a LOT better. Keep elevatin.

pz

 

[Sarr]

british accent ey..i like it man..track shoulda been longer. But keep at it man

 

[Belo]

Wats up man.. well that's a start and not bad 4 ur 1st ever song u know...
The lyrics were cool though to me, the lines being slightly different lengths n shit's gonna make it harder 4 u to stay on beat..
Fuck wat anyone says about your accent.. can't change that and trying to sound like someone you're not is wack anyways.. If you're using a shit mic or something on your computer it's hard to make it sound good but I'm sure there are ways or good mics that work on computers
Anyways man.. if youenjoy doing it then keep it up and have fun
Peace
Belo